Vyasa Puja Offering 2007

“[For the devotees who were listening to Chaitanya Mahaprabhu glorify Sanatan Goswami], the perfection of their life was simply to see another devotee getting the Lord’s mercy. When the spiritual master sees that this is our consciousness in the inner most recess of our heart, it is in that place where we become so dear to Him.”

- Radhanath Swami, Nectarean Mellows Series

To Radhanath Swami on his Vyasa Puja, 2007

Please accept my deep respects, Radhanath Swami. Please offer respects to Srila Prabhupad on my behalf as well and all of the divinely inspired acaryas in our line, for this is a day I have been reflecting on association and, most importantly, guru.

When you spoke on this pastime of Mahaprabhu glorifying Sanatan Goswami (the above excerpt), I felt moved in my realization of being a disciple. One word sums up the excerpt for me: humility. It is the humility to appreciate and glorify the Vaishnavas, even in the midst of my own hardships.

And the more I ponder this excerpt, I’m realizing how I strive for this consciousness because you possess it to such an astounding extent. It doesn’t matter the tribulations you yourself are undergoing or who you’re surrounded by, words of the most sincere appreciation seem to flow from your mouth, melting even the coldest of hearts. Surely Srila Prabhupad holds you very dear to see how you exult in the Vaishnavas in the inner most recess of your heart. And those dear to Srila Prabhupad are surely dear to the Lord Himself.

Thank you for your example. I pray that I may follow in your footsteps by reaching out to give glories to the Vaishnavas. And when I am a bystander, I pray that I may rejoice in their progress and triumphs on this path to the Lord.

Your servant,

Bhakti lata bij dasi

The Gift

Hafiz, a 13th century Sufi Muslim, captures my heart with his poetry. I firmly believe that anyone who reads him with an open mind, their heart will soon join mine in beautiful captivity.

I present to you several of my captors.

How Do I Listen?

How
Do I
Listen to Others?
As if everyone were my Master
Speaking to me
His
Cherished
Last
Words.


Integrity

Few
Have the strength
To be a real
Hero -
That rare
Man or woman
Who always keeps
Their
Word.
Even an angel needs rest.
Integrity creates a body so vast
A thousand winged ones will
Plead,
"May I lay my cheek
Against
You?"


Dropping Keys

The small man
Builds cages for everyone
He
Knows.
While the sage,
Who has to duck his head
When the moon is low,
Keeps dropping keys all night long
For the
Beautiful
Rowdy
Prisoners.


Chain You To My Body

All
These words
Are just a front.
What I would really like to do is
Chain you to my body,
Then sing for days
And days and
Days
About
God.

Two Giant Fat People

God
And I have become
Like two giant fat people
Living in a
Tiny boat.
We
Keep
Bumping into each other and
L
a
u
g
h
i
n
g
.

An Interview on Marriage With My Parents

35 years later....

Seeing that this year will be the 35th wedding anniversary of my parents, I figured they must have gotten something right. They were married at 18 and 20 (my mom the older) with my father fresh off the boat from Spain and very little English. They became devotees of Krishna together, raised three children, and pioneered several business ventures together, among other things. I think they've been put through the mill a thousand times... and are stronger for it.

So I decided to interview them on their experience.

I introduce to you Maheshvara Dasa and Brihan Naradiya Purana Dasi.

1. What does being married for 35 years mean to you?
Mom: It means to have a personal evolution with someone. Both of us have changed; we are not the same person we were 35 years ago: physically, spiritually, emotionally... we have evolved together. The emphasis is that we're not different - we have evolved.

Also, children are Krishna's way of making you humble [laughs]. It's an opportunity to realize how dependent you are on Him.

Dad: It means commitment to be together for the sake of a family and a loving relationship.


2. What keeps your relationship inspiring?
Mom: How we work together and support each other. With music, his business, my business, we communicate.
Dad: Music is integral to our life together. Kirtans and our spiritual experiences.

3. How does Krishna impact your marriage?
Mom: Krishna aligns us.
Dad: We feel most inspired when we play music for Krishna.


4. What gets you through the hard times?
Dad: Don't take things personally. Physiologically, men and women are just different. We both come with our own backgrounds. So take things in stride.
Mom: I agree. Be detached and just CHILL OUT.

5. What is advice you can give to anyone who wants to get married?
Mom: Check astrology - Chinese and Vedic.
Dad: Don't check astrology! [laughs]

Last words of wisdom?
Dad: PURE LUCK. We are the luckiest people in the world because we found each other.

Mom: I agree.

note: these pictures were taken in 07, not 02.

My three favorite quotes on this matter:
"Whenever you give your time, you are making a sacrifice, and sacrifice is the essence of love." Unknown

"If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don't, they never were." Kahlil Gibran

"To love is not to look at one another, but to look together in the same direction." Antoine de Saint-Exupery

changing bodies

This is my father. This photos series speaks for itself, I believe.

Follow Your Bliss

In the movie The Namesake, an Indian woman (who is living in America) is speaking with her American friend, feeling lost and weary of spirit after many trials and tribulations. And so her friend encourages her to try something she read about in a book. "Just close your eyes... and remember and feel when you were the most happy. Not excited, just... happy. Content, full. It's called 'following your bliss',"

And so the Indian woman closes her eyes... and although the movie does not flash back to the particular scene from the beginning of the movie, I know which one is running through this woman's mind: she is seated in a sunlit courtyard in a yellow sari amidst listening musicians. She is singing, her eyes closed, her hand following her voice, which flits and swoops like a bird. And when she finishes, all the musicians present simply hold their silence.

And when the Indian woman opens her eyes, she says quietly, "I think I want to return home... to India."

When I close my eyes and envision the moment I am the most happy, the most content, I am singing in a quiet templeroom in the deep evening for Radhe Syam. Maybe that is why that moment in the movie touched me so - we were both singing, following our bliss.

And when I also feel this bliss, this stillness of my soul, is when I am with the Vaishnavas, especially my guru and my godfamily. When I am given the chance to serve them, I find myself murmuring, "Now this... this is the perfection of life."

So with all of your blessings, I believe it is time for me to return home, if just for a little while... and follow my bliss to India.

My Most Difficult Post

This is probably the most difficult blog post I have ever written. I consider myself strong and independent, and to ask for help is one of the most humbling experiences of my life. But life - especially spiritual life - is a group effort, as I only had to travel on 6 bus tours to realize that some things just cannot be done alone.

And so here I am, posting this letter that Kirtiraja Prabhu encouraged me to write last Kartik when he found out I had never been to India. He promised he would help me find a way to come to India for the next year. So in my philosophy of fundraising from Bus Tours to Alachua gurukuli festivals, the most powerful conclusion I have reached is this: Just Ask.

It doesn't make it any easier.

***

Dear Respected Vaishnava,

All glories to Srila Prabhupad. Please accept my respects.

My name is Bhakti lata dasi. From the moment of my birth, I have been surrounded by India. Born on March 22, 1987, a half an hour before Mangala Arati in New Vrindavan , I have always felt myself to be a New Brajabasi.

I have never really had a strong desire to travel to India. Dangerous and foreign to me in my mind, I preferred to visit Vrindavan in Srila Prabhupada’s Krishna Book.

But at 16, five years ago, Radhanath Swami invited me to Chowpatty, Mumbai. I had just watched The Simple Temple video for the first time, and I felt intrigued by his offer. I believe that the offer of saintly association is what planted the seed of my desire to visit the holy dham.

So began my quest. Every year I would plan “This is the year. That’s it, I’m going, once and for all,” and every year, my life held no space for India. Every year, every opportunity passed by, and my vow would only grow stronger… and stronger…

I have now reached the point where as soon as I have a moment of free time, my mind turns to Vrindavan and Chowpatty – surrounded by my guru, godbrothers and godsisters. I read about Radha Kunda before I go to sleep and dream of listening to the flute player at Radha Raman temple. I write poetry about watching the sun rise over Govardhan… and I’m not one much for writing poetry.

I feel as though Krishna has held me back from coming to His land because He wants me to realize: Vrindavan is in my heart. Vrindavan is where His devotees gather. Vrindavan is the sun rising over ANY mountain, as long as my mind is with Krishna. It’s as though Krishna has wanted me to reach this point of burning desire to visit the holy dham… to the point where I MUST go.

And now, five years later, the gates to the holy dham have swung open… just a little. I graduated from college this spring and the time simply feels right. But as a student fresh out of college (and for only a semester before diving back in) I find myself penniless. So Kirtiraja Prabhu encouraged me to write this letter to appeal for assistance from the Vaishnavas.

I plan to visit Chowpatty for one month to associate with my godbrothers and godsisters, then participate in Vrindavan parikrama with my Guru Maharaj, Radhanath Swami, then attend the Japa Retreat hosted by Sacinandana Swami held in Varshana. I then intend to finally return to Chowpatty for two weeks.

Please note that I plan to be surrounded by saintly association every step of the way. My years of waiting have drawn me to this conclusion – the only way to reach the feet of Sri Radha and Krishna is through Their devotees. True Vrindavan is the spirit of humility and the prayer to serve the Vaishnavas.

And so I find myself asking you, my dear Vaishnava, to please help me to whatever degree you can so that I may visit the holy land of the Lord, my homeland, especially in the association of the Vaishnavas.

With deep sincerity, I thank you for your assistance and your prayers.

Your servant,
Bhakti lata dasi

Return to Freedom

The day before my foot surgery, I grabbed my chance at my last adventure before looong days of sitting around [sigh] recovering. So I hopped on my bike and criss-crossed and wove down the mountain with the wind in my hair to the beach.

These rocks lay on the margins of the ocean and create tidepools. Over time, the ocean has carved little holes (about the size of your fingertip) into the porous rock.

He's long gone, but his shell still ponders in the tidepools.

Wild mangoes.
Average roadside banyan.

This very white guy (haole as we say :) learned to make these traditional palm baskets from Hawaiian elders because he... well, really wanted to know how to do it. He told me they last for 70 years once dried out.

A tourist couple stopped while we were chatting, and the wife asked for a flower on her basket. So he made one right in front of us.

I find there is beauty in the patterns of nature and people and life. Like breathing.

My cast comes off tomorrow.